Having a hard time lately nothing I do gets my head straight and even teh writing isnt having teh desired effect any more. I write lots because its a distraction from my day to day life. I hate my body and I hate how I look. I just cant get out of the cycle of things. Maybe I need a doctor this time. I am not sure any more my body does not loose teh weight like it used to and my teeth cant take any more vomiting. My self esteme is dying slowly and my sex life is now almost non existant because I cant look at myself in the mirror/ I just hate being a 48 year old fat guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It fucking sucks. Here I am trying to help others with their issues and my own demons have come back to haunt me. I just downwed a pack of Maltesers followed by a litre of water and brought the whole thing up again. My stomache hurts and my eyes have burst blood vessles from the strain.



I HATE THIS SHIT!!!!!!!