Monday, 23 July 2012

The Beginning of my issues

For all of you out there I will paint a picture of a young boy for you so you can understand.

I was born 10th july 1964 at 7.30am at west beach Adelaide in Australia. My parents were good middle class parents with no real issues or hangups except it was the 60's and my father was a 50's man he had no tollerence for weakness and no tollerence for not doing as you were told. I was a huge kid Tall as well as large and this made my life a split personality in many ways. If your young and large as a boy there are two things that you can be assured of, cruel peers and those who will gravitate towards you for protection. I was a gentle giant as my mother put it but inside by the time I was 10 years old the damage was done.

I was called fatty and lard arse, and that was just my father! My mother bless her called me fatty as she called it her pet name for me a term of endearment that she held up until the last time I spke with her when she held my hand in november 2010 and said I'm going to die arn't I fat's. I laughed and cried all at the same time. My spirit was broken because of my weight and she knew it, we never discussed it but my mother knew my pain. She read my poetry and writing as a child and could see the torment in my words.

By the age of ten I was 5'10" tall and a fully functioning man. Yes I was fertile at 10 years old and it scared teh crap out of me. I was 90kg and built like a man. I had to wear mens clothes as nothing my age fitted me and I looked different because fo this to my peers. At school this year in grade 5 I had my first encounter with a real bully that went physical. He tormented me all lunch time at school and I lost it and answered back to which he took offence to and attacked me, noe he was a good head shorter than me and nowhere near my strength but I had to defend myself. He lashed out and kicked at me, I grabbed his leg and flung him in teh air and before he could hit teh ground I was on him, I dont remember much accept it took 3 students and two teachers to get em off him and I busted him up pretty good. He was 12 at the time. Lets just say no-one bothered me after that but it was also because I was the schools "A" grade ruckman at 10! by teh time I was 11 I was rucking for my primary school and my brothers highschool team on a saturday morning under an assumed name. SPORT sees me as a hero at this stage of my life and I assume status because of my size and ability. The on field jibes never stopped and the off field either. Girls well thats a whole nother story.

next time I will attempt to tell you of those late primary early teen years.


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